Ending a Love Affair

I've had a very long relationship that is over. My love of food and my inability to control my lust for it has got to stop. I'm Fat. My doctors label it MORBIDLY OBESE. Sounds horrible? It is. I have alot of health problems due to my weight. Some are escalated because of my weight. I won't list them all but I sincerely hope and my doctors tell me that many of them will disappear or ease up when I lose weight. Somethings are permanent. The damage to cartilage, the sagging skin.

As one of the tools I've chosen to help me lose the weight is Weight Loss Surgery (WLS). I talked with my GP about my weight and admitted that I'm not able to lose the weight and keep it off myself. His referral led me to the Bariatric Surgeons and my journey began. With my HMO, you are required to do lab tests, EKG, get chest xrays, see a Pulmonary Specialist and sign up with a Weight Management program. I got my packet with all the requirements and started getting ready. This is typically a 3-6 month process or longer once all the tests are done. I had barely finished the tests and taken the class and was expecting to have a 2-4 month wait for a surgery date, when I was contacted that an opening had come up and would I want it. It was just over 2 weeks away. I took a deep breath and said, lets go for it.

My Surgery date is December 23rd. I am having the Roux-en-y or gastric bypass procedure. This will (hopefully) be done larposcopicly with 5-6 small incisions in my abdomen. If all goes well, I should be home on Christmas Day.

I'm very excited but also anxious about the surgery. I've been over all my literature about WLS, I've been to a support group, I've told my close friends and family and I have been busy preparing for a month of pureed foods and then a life time of very small healthy meals.

The hardest part is trying to imagine myself healthier, being able to do things I don't currently do. I wonder what it will be like to enter a room and not have to try to figure out if you can fit in chairs or move around the room without your butt, hips or belly knocking over something. To climb stairs without having to pause to catch your breath. To be able to get up off the floor in a more graceful manner. To be able to travel without the fear of having to purchase an extra seat. To be able to go to Disneyland and ride the rides again. To bike with my husband more that a couple of miles and make it up hills without having to get off and walk.

I've started this blog to document my journey from obesity. To share the laughter and tears. As a way to keep track of how my life will change and how I'll handle these changes.